There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
