I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
