So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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