If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
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I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
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Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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