Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
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Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
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I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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