alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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