you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
