Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dicks are not precious.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
