Nicole vs. Life
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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