I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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