yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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