I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
