So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
