You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
