thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
