The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
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Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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