Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize