I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize