awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am midnight drunk by noon
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
