I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
