those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
