I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
