its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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