marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
