Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
