What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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