I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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