he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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