That's when you crack a 10am beer
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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