this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
