wat bout pragnant strippers??
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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