Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Jerry, you need to find god
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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