That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
