You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
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Houston, we have a squirter
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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