Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander