butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize