Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  what was she crying about?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle. (1-734): what was she crying about? (734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job. http://tfl.nu/fomm
  Replies (47) Good night (14283) Bad night (1654)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket. http://tfl.nu/tn78
  Replies (48) Good night (4701) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me... http://tfl.nu/5b54
  Replies (9) Good night (4720) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero. http://tfl.nu/4xtx
  Replies (33) Good night (1595) Bad night (4885) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning http://tfl.nu/qcnv
  Replies (9) Good night (3320) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/7njn
  Replies (30) Good night (10380) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy. http://tfl.nu/gapv
  Replies (28) Good night (5216) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face http://tfl.nu/knsv
  Replies (25) Good night (3406) Bad night (1689) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you http://tfl.nu/07bs
  Replies (21) Good night (6495) Bad night (1249) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative http://tfl.nu/aljj
  Replies (6) Good night (5273) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done

  (760): View more from California

  Victory lap

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done (760): Victory lap http://tfl.nu/nhvd
  Replies (5) Good night (2892) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult. http://tfl.nu/x3id
  Replies (1) Good night (1480) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe" http://tfl.nu/2m07
  Replies (7) Good night (1325) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Like it was yesterday.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears? (517): Like it was yesterday. (254): Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery... http://tfl.nu/058m
  Replies (5) Good night (1008) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving http://tfl.nu/6fed
  Replies (5) Good night (174) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt

Randomize