Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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