Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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