probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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