What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
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That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.