your room smells of hookers.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos