Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.

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(419): View more from Ohio

it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.

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(806): View more from Texas

at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.

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(541): View more from Oregon

When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.

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(631): View more from New York

"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.

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(805): View more from California

For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.

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