Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker. http://tfl.nu/5qzf
  Replies (9) Good night (910) Bad night (2985)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face.... http://tfl.nu/3wos
  Replies (24) Good night (1275) Bad night (3692)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know. http://tfl.nu/hifx
  Replies (13) Good night (3831) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up in my neighbors garage.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): just woke up in my neighbors garage. (931): scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage. http://tfl.nu/x40j
  Replies (21) Good night (9512) Bad night (1406)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  we convinced you the moon was a planet...again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): we convinced you the moon was a planet...again http://tfl.nu/tbv6
  Replies (23) Good night (7177) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now. http://tfl.nu/lhag
  Replies (41) Good night (1466) Bad night (6114)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones... http://tfl.nu/dtoz
  Replies (4) Good night (2771) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will. http://tfl.nu/096i
  Replies (8) Good night (2335) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since. http://tfl.nu/iexd
  Replies (4) Good night (911) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday. http://tfl.nu/b5pa
  Replies (3) Good night (570) Bad night (1628)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying http://tfl.nu/bo49
  Replies (7) Good night (1062) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch. http://tfl.nu/nw9o
  Replies (2) Good night (1099) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/9jhi
  Replies (8) Good night (435) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur. http://tfl.nu/z4pa
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious.. http://tfl.nu/rub0
  Replies (3) Good night (425) Bad night (492)

Randomize