I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.