Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom http://tfl.nu/tvji
  Replies (25) Good night (1548) Bad night (4415)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined. http://tfl.nu/05lw
  Replies (5) Good night (2734) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila? http://tfl.nu/i07w
  Replies (7) Good night (1894) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it. http://tfl.nu/ou1a
  Replies (3) Good night (2607) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary. http://tfl.nu/tm81
  Replies (18) Good night (1156) Bad night (1818)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane. http://tfl.nu/mwfa
  Replies (4) Good night (1950) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you want cuervo gold or silver?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight? (262): Do you want cuervo gold or silver? http://tfl.nu/7twk
  Replies (11) Good night (3372) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter. http://tfl.nu/7qar
  Replies (7) Good night (1345) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens. http://tfl.nu/cd1z
  Replies (8) Good night (1945) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Love me.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just for one nugget?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Love me. (781): GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS. (508): Just for one nugget? http://tfl.nu/9y03
  Replies (6) Good night (2922) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path" http://tfl.nu/xcvb
  Replies (14) Good night (1643) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer.. http://tfl.nu/i9am
  Replies (1) Good night (506) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working http://tfl.nu/fcot
  Replies (3) Good night (1071) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere http://tfl.nu/frtj
  Replies (8) Good night (1748) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home http://tfl.nu/7qg4
  Replies (0) Good night (822) Bad night (321)

Randomize