I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
