I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
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they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
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Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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