I need help removing her.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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