Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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