thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
