threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize