Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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