sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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