after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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