So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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