So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
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Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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