I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
