so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
