You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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