3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Randomize
