No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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