bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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