she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have already put on my inside pants.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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