also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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