I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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