then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
porn star boner night. come get it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
