I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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