I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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