i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
